She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
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i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
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Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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