Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
