i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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