you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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