I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
