If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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