Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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