My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
