it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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