I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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