walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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