Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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