so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
