And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
