thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize