i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
