Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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