Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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