Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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