mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
