Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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