Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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