ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
