ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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