You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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