Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
