yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
