just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
