he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
