I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
This baby is an asshole
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
