SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
