The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
