you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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