I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You pole danced in your parka.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
