Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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