Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
