How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Plan B is the new Plan A
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
