Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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