Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize