i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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