So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
