it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
