Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
