there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
