Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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