Tell her she can't have a vagina
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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