I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
