Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize