I'm drive I can fine osifer
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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