Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize