dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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