remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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