help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
