just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
