I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
