we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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