By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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