You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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