Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
