Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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