I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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