Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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